i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
