And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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