i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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