I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
