We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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