I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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