i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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