I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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