bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
