You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
