I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
