But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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