I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
