He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
