There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
