And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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