Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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