When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
