Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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