Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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