i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
