I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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