this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
