When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
