Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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