This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
