dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
