so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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