So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
