just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
