wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
