I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
