I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
