my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
