Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
