were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Randomize
