Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
