Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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