Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
