i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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