Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
