Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
