I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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