actually, I'm a sock model
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
