im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm both gender and math confused
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