Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
