East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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