She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
