Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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