Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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