ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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